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LeeAnn

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[26 Feb 2006|06:33pm]
[ mood | guilty ]

for those that care....


i got into a car accident yesterday. i was in the hospital for about five hours. neck brace, strapped to the bed, clothes cut open, the works. it was all precautionary. i'm home and healing. very sore. very bruised. very depressed. the other person was a lot worse off than i was. i'm pretty lucky.

i'm not gonna be driving for a while. my car is...well i'm not sure yet. i'm still pretty shaken up. it's been scary. i can close my eyes and see it.

let's just say that i'm thankful i'm ok and grateful that ashley has been helping me through it. thanks babe. i loooooove you.

1 lies told in darkness

[18 Jan 2006|10:51pm]
[ mood | calm ]

i think i'm addicted to myspace. oh god someone help me.

1 lies told in darkness

[29 Dec 2005|08:43pm]
[ mood | cold ]

well it's been quite some time since i have updated this dear journal of mine. as of right now, it's 10:43 in indiana. it's 32 degrees outside. it's been cloudy all day and quite dreary. i'm watching er. i have a hole in my sock. i am, once again, re-downloading all off the songs onto my ipod. you honestly don't know how much of a pain it is until you actually have to do it...twice. i'm going to be home in approximately 13 hours. there are 4 stockings above the mantel. did you know that when a person has a stroke one side of their body can become paralyzed? it's usually the right side too. although it doesn't happen all the time, whenever someone has a stroke something is paralyzed. it is most often found in the curling of the pinkie finger on the right side of the body. i think it would be terrible if a man had a stroke and his weiner was paralyzed. how would he have children? or have sex for that matter. funny that i'm thinking about that...being the "dyke" that i am. thank you hannah. 131 down only 2080 to go. yay! can you say shower time? well maybe not. i'm enjoying this little random thought i'm having. i've always wondered what had to happen in a family to make a child run away. i mean sure, everyone has had the thoughts. every kid has threatened to run away. but what went wrong in the families where the kid actually did run away. how were they driven away? what was the final straw that drove that kid to thumbing a ride on the corner in front of a liquor store.

on another note...

don't see king kong. even if you want to, don't. it's almost 3.25 hours long. in that amount of time...you can take a nap, read a book, AND shower.

and another one...
children are an amazing gift. well, some of them. ok i take that back. all of them are. they each bring something new into the world. some special talent or brilliance that makes the world a better place because they are in it.

finally...
i got yelled at by an 80-year old man this week. not only that a "mentally disabled" man also hassled me because my brother and i were waiting for my mom to bring us tickets to see a movie. i'm so done with indiana. maybe it's just all the retards and old folks i'm done with. i need to take a sympathy class again.

that's all folks. have a happy new year. and i'm coming home tomorrow!!!

4 lies told in darkness

[18 Dec 2005|11:10am]
[ mood | stressed ]

The stress is mounting. Oh can you feel it in the air? Finals are approaching and I have yet to begin studying. At the rate I'm going, it may never happen. I have about 4 months worth of studying to do in 5 days. I'm a little bit scared. I need that extra boost of motivation to get me through this or else it's never going to get done. Maybe if I had a time machine...

But on a good note...ASHLEY IS HOME!!!

3 lies told in darkness

The votes are in... [09 Dec 2005|06:10pm]
[ mood | calm ]

so it's officially....official for lack of a better word. i'm going to u of a. pretty much the most exciting thing i've done all day. and you know what that means...all you zero people that read my journal...party in my house (or dorm) whichever works. that's it for now. maybe i'll feel more inspired to write later. it doesn't look very likely though.

have a good night folks.

1 lies told in darkness

I Am From... [06 Oct 2005|06:38pm]
[ mood | restless ]

LeeAnn Kearney
Mrs. Foor
Senior English 3
7 October 2005

I am from rolling fields and the land of waves of grain.

I am from a neighborhood where grass-stained children only come home when the streetlights in the neighborhood begin to signal nights approach.

I am from a woman who dedicated every waking hour to God and after twenty five years lost His eternal light.

I am from a man who had no one to take care of him for the first twenty four years of his life.

I am from a bright palette of colorful people who combine to create a beautiful painting on a warm summer’s night.

I am from a cautious and weary grandmother who is always afraid of letting her emotions show.

I am from a dysfunctional family, where everything appeared a little less clear as age weathered me.

I am from two people who fell in love and after twenty years of marriage lost sight of what they truly meant to each other.

I am from a mother who always blamed herself for her sons near death.

I am from a father who could not put the glass down after his mother got sick for the first time.

I am from two brothers whose love for their sister shows no boundaries.

I am from a love that is movie-sized, where everything hurts just a little but it all pays off in the end.

I am from a mother that calls every day at 3:30 across the vast expanse of land that separates her from her one and only daughter.

I am from a sloth who spends little time doting upon his only daughter and all the time worrying about his favorite son.

I am from a broken family whose only common ground is the last name they share.

2 lies told in darkness

Like This... [27 Sep 2005|09:03pm]
[ mood | complacent ]

the walls are crawling. everywhere i look another species of bug occupies space that was once free of all such pests. my home is becoming a dump...everywhere i look some other form of junk is accumulating. my fingers itch to pick it up and throw it all away, to be free of such bondage as the garbage that is slowly suffocating me. i have the urge. this house should burn to the ground. all the possessions along with it. give me a clean palate to work with. i would start from scratch and create two separate quarters. one for the garbage man, the keeper of clutter. the king of unnecessary purchases. the master of destroying lives. the other, for the girl who didn't know what to do. who was torn between killing the king and running away. it was all so complicated that at times it just overwhelmed her. there was really nothing more she could do. she just had to wait. patience is a virtue. perhaps the strong-willed will survive. that's what she was hoping at least.

i have slowly scratched a little hole in my arm. it used to be a nervous habit i had, except it was just my fingers. now it has slowly climbed up my forearm and onto my bicep, becoming a little dot of blood that i can't help but pick. it's strange how something so little can hurt so much. i'm a big wuss.

i have become so far removed from this place that i look at it like a game. the winner recieves a one-way ticket way the fuck out of here.
collect $200 as you pass go....
chance card...you resist the urge to scream until you explode....pass go.

maybe some day i'll land on park place and be able to bankrupt all the other players. well, player.

1 lies told in darkness

There Once Was A Girl... [19 Sep 2005|05:02pm]
[ mood | indifferent ]

Once there was a girl...

i remembered this dream i used to have. i'd always wake up right before i died. i think somewhere i heard that if you die in a dream it means that you really do die. it's really weird how stuff like that works out.

i'm basically going to be all alone tonight and i couldn't be happier. i'll procrastinate, talk to my girlfriend all night, and then panic right before i go to bed because i forgot to do some of my homework. that's how it usually ends up. i honestly don't mind though. it's worth it.

it's kinda weird how things work out. on one hand i'm extremely happy. on the other hand i'm ready to plunge into that deep hole of despair i was in for a long time. they somehow met in the middle and are attempting to balance each other out. i think my emotions are see-sawing in my brain. someone's bound to get off and send the other one flying. we'll just have to wait and see when that happens.

2 lies told in darkness

[13 Sep 2005|09:05pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

it's like the limp bizkit song...

...it's just one of those days, when nothing can go wrong (or right?)...

i would first like to salute those of us who procrastinate.
(take a bow)
then i would like to give a shout out to all of those who really don't care.
(stand up, c'mon and put your hands up)
and after that i would like to shake the hands of all those who are just barely there.
(it's ok...you can smile)
and finally, i would like to congratulate those of us who have finally found just what the were looking for
(pat yourselves on the back)

it's amazing to see how much things can change in the span of a few months. or how much everything can stay the same. i guess it really depends on how you look at it. i really don't think i have anything else to say.

i'm outtie.

told in darkness

[08 Sep 2005|03:48pm]
[ mood | okay ]

i have noticed throughout the course of this week that school is a very small place. nothing can stay secret for very long, even those secrets that you tell no one but yourself. somehow it all finds its way out. surprising, really, how much people talk. seriously.

i've had people i don't know come up to me and ask how i am.
i've had my ex-best friend stop me in the hall and hug me to make sure that i was ok.

i really don't know what to say other than sometimes other people's compassion is really amazing. i still stand my ground on the theory that people don't really care until something bad happens. and honestly, even if something bad DOES in fact happen, they only care because they feel obligated to. i still think that i'm in shock. it doesn't seem to be registering that my car is destroyed. i've been rather indifferent to the whole situation.

i've also decided that dealing with insurance agencies is a pain in the butt. you call them all day long and the one time Ms. IWASHEADCHEERLEADERINHIGHSCHOOLANDVOTEDMOSTLIKELYTOSUCCEED answers the phone on the other end in some town in the boonies of Oklahoma, you have to go into class. somehow it always works out that way.

my life has reverted to a series of aches and pains i can't remember getting. i really wish i could have thought a little harder about what i was doing....


there's still a distant thought in my head that won't go away....

...maybe it was my fault....

told in darkness

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